7 y/o to me while i was calling her friend for a playdate, “you will probably have to leave a message on her voice messaging system.” i giggled, which prompted 10 y/o to say to her, “you are going straight to the blog.” 7 y/o to me, “great, now you’re writing it down.”
10 y/o: “there are so many old people here.” me: “we are all going to be old one day.” 10 y/o: “yes, but you be will old much sooner than me.”
me: “a kitten will be a lot to handle.” 10 y/o: “yes, but i want one from the kitty litter.”
10 y/o after her sister sneezed: “i just got a little spritz in the splash zone.”
so, mommy is a sucker and we got a new kitten and the maniacal phototaking ensued. i said, “it’s like the paprazzi in here.” 7 y/o said, “no it’s the catarazzi.”
7 y/o was flailing her arms by my coffee and i said, “can you please watch this?” meaning be careful not to spill it. i went into the other room and after a minute she asked me if she could go pet the cat and i said, “of course, you don’t need permission.” and she said, “well, you told me to watch this.”
while catsitting, my mom’s cat, dexter, the girls were discussing getting our own kitten. 7 y/o said to 10 y/o, “shhh. dexter can hear you.” and 10 y/o replied, “i’m not cheating on him.”
me to 10 y/o, “well, i told you that already. you don’t listen to me.” “no, i don’t, do i?”
10 y/o: “cats are just like elderly people: they sleep, eat & poop.”
me: “you guys, this movie is so horrible.” 7 y/o: “that’s the point.”
the girls & i got home late one night & i was too tired to make lunch before bed so i made it the next morning. after putting it in her backpack before leaving for school, 10 y/o looked at me & said, “well, the lunches got made this morning, but this isn’t going to become a habit is it?”
10 y/o on phone with her friend, “i’d like to have a playdate, but my mother has a homework policy.”
10 y/o noticed my frown when she took a bottled water which i like to reserve for school lunches and said to me, “you can buy more, mommy. i’ll give you the five dollars.”
me to 10 y/o referring to an online game: “i really do not find that game to be appropriate.” “why? it’s just a dress up game.” “look at how she is drawn: her boobs are huge.” 10 y/o: “they’re not huge, they’re ENORMOUS.”
10 y/o pondering her halloween costume, “i could go as a nerd.” me, “ok.” 10 y/o, “but that may be offensive to the kids that really are nerds.”
so my new job is technically in the mall, but i have a desk job, however, upon hearing of the location, 7 y/o exclaimed, “you get to work in the mall? you are SO LUCKY!”
7 y/o, “mommy, if you keep wearing black to work , they are going to think you’re goth.”
while watching a show with 10 y/o, she asked, “so what’s this show about?” me, “just about their life together.” 10 y/o, “so it has no context whatsoever?”
girls and i were discussing how they would feel about me dating which prompted 10 y/o asked me if i was dating anyone. i told her i wasn’t and pointed out that i had told her that already. she replied, “well, i don’t pay attention to your background life.”
we were watching a show where the divorced couple was really amicable and 10 y/o asked, “why is the mom allowed in the dad’s house?”
every time i leave a room, my kids start yelling, “moooooooom?” while their dysfunctional need to know where i am every minute is somewhat flattering, i get tired of responding after the first 400 times. the other day i was ignoring the calls from the next room which prompted 10 y/o to say, “where are yoooooooooou?” i yelled back, “i left.” then i added, “maybe i should wear a tracking device.” 10 y/o agreed saying, “that would be nice for both of us.”
dinner at grandma’s house the other night included zucchini muffins (which 7 y/o thought were delish until she realized they were healthy) – 10 y/o said she really liked them because they had “a microwaveable quality to them” which reminded her of my cooking…
watching 10 y/o put ketchup on her plate sparked this conversation:
“i thought you didn’t like ketchup.”
“i like it only with specific foods.”
“like what?”
“french fries.”
“what else?”
“nothing.”
“well, that is specific.”
me to 7 y/o, “i notice you hardly play in your room anymore.” 7 y/o, “that’s because you make me clean it up.”
upon telling the girls, they would have to come with me to my doctor appointment, and 10 y/o asked, “is it for a genealogy test? i said, “i think you mean gynecologist.” “whatever, i don’t want to go to your vagina appointment.”
7 y/o to 10 y/o after i laughed at something she said: “she is just going to have more and more things to put in the blog. oh no. i just gave her one. i better just not talk. ugh. she’s writing that down too.”
7 y/o likes to pretend she’s a cat but she gets extremely rambunctious when she does. the other night, it was late & she wanted to play cat and i told her she could but she had to be a calm cat. 10 y/o chimed in, “yeah. a cat on meds.”
me: “look, a baby deer.” 7 y/o: “it’s probably a teenager. babies can’t be alone.”
7 y/o to me after i explained an idea to her, “this is your plan?”
7 y/o watching an untalented disney star (as if there is any other kind) sing, “he is totally lip singing.”
10 y/o was half-heartedly complaining about being blog fodder (she actually really loves the attention) and i said, “but i never use your names. no one knows who you are.” “right, you just say 10 year old and 7 year old like no one knows who that is.”
7 y/o remarked to her sister, “you are double digits now.” and then i said, “wow, you are getting so big!” she replied, “yes, i’m a tweenager now. it goes from juvenille to tweennesss, to drinking adult.”
me to girls, “i made rice krispie treats yesterday.” 10 y/o, “you actually made something?”
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Tags: cat, disney, french fires, goth, grandmother, homework, ketchup, kitten, kitty litter, play date, rice kripsie treats, tweens, voice mail, zucchini muffins
