10 y/o, “mom, look- a commercial about bloating.”
7 y/o: we’re booooorrrrreeeeed. what should we play?” “how about laundromat?” “7 y/o: “what’s that?” me:” it’s really fun – you get to fold your own laundry.” 10 y/o, “i’ll pass.”
7 y/o: “mom, can we watch tv after grandma leaves?” “yes.” “ok, i’ll get the tv ready.”
when we first got our kitten, we weren’t sure of the sex (it’s a boy), and this conversation ensued:
10 y/o: “i think it’s a girl.”
me: “how can you tell?”
10 y/o: “she just looks like a girl.”
me: “how so?”
10 y/o: “in her eyes.”
me: “her eyes?”
10 y/o: “yes. they sparkle. they say girl.”
me to 10 y/o: “you just like the attention.” 10 y/o: “oh, you know i do.”
10 y/o’s tooth fell out at school and she came home with it wrapped in a napkin. when she went to throw it out, i said, “no, don’t throw it out, i will give it to the tooth fairy. ” she rolled her eyes at me & said, “oh, where will that be? the garbage?”
i was really looking forward to a day off from work and school to spend with my girls until this announcement was made in unison: “we are going to be playing now. so, find something else to do.”
10 y/o gets confused between chinese and japanese people & their cultures. this was magnified when she went as a geisha for halloween and kept calling it a “chinese costume.” after correcting her several times, she finally said to me, “i can’t tell the people apart but i know their food.”
10 y/o to 7 y/o: “hurry up. you’re as slow as grandma!”
grandma: “hey!”
girls were playing “littlest pet shop” and 10 y/o as the turtle said, “i don’t eat meat. i’m veggeturtle.”
group of 10 y/o olds discussing the movie Freaky Friday: “i saw the old one. it had typewriters.” “ewwwww. that’s gross.”
7 y/o: “okay everybody follow me. make a vertical line.”
10 y/o “the kitten just made a defensive fart. maybe i should learn how to do that.”
10 y/o: ” i hate her.” me: “hate is such a strong word.” 10 y/o: “fine. i strongly, crudely, dislike her.”
me to 10 y/o: “get out of here & go play with your sister.” 10 y/o: “no she is boring.” 7y/o: “i am not! i’m not old & i don’t play bingo!”
7 y/o: “mommy, mommy come quick! there’s a deer in the backyard. he’s looking right at me.”
me: “yes, i think he hears us through the glass. they have really sensitive hearing.”
7 y/o: “i think deer like to eavesdrop.”
me to 10 y/o: “what are you saving all that stuff for? life is short, use it now, enjoy!”
10 y/o wrote a story & read it to us. 7 y/o then wrote one almost identical. 10 y/o said, “hey, that’s exactly what i wrote.” i said, “well, it’s cute. she wants to be just like you. it’s flattering.” to which 10 y/o responded: “it’s not cute when she’s plagiarizing my work.”
7 y/o: “yeah, you’ll end up like mommy – never using your things and then selling them on ebay.”
me to 10 y/o: “come, play with us.”
7 y/o: “no. i have tv to watch.. it won’t watch itself, you know.”
10 y/o: “the 3 R’s are Responsible, Respect, Record.” me: “Record? like on the DVR?” 10 y/o: “yes!”
7 y/o discussing her new gmail account with her grandmother: “it’s a good way to connect with people.”
10 y/o wanted to wear my pajama bottoms and then stopped in the midst of putting them to ask, “are these the ones you had your period in?”
10 y/o calling from shower, “tonight, i’m going to rinse and repeat.”
me to kitten: “hey little kitty, ” 7 y/o: “hey, little mommy.”
me to 7 y/o: “what exactly is The Turkey Trot?” 7 y/o: ” i think it’s an optical course.”
me to 10 y/o, “so did you get your phone fixed and it’s working now?” “yes.” “so, you’ll text me this weekend?” “yes, but don’t expect whole chats – i have a life.”
10 y/o: “dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, i made you out of plastic from somewhere in indonesia.”
grandma: “so do you like these cookies?” 10 y/o: “not really. what’s in them?” grandma: “fiber one cereal, peanut butter, & semi-sweet chocolate.” 10y/o, “i sensed they were healthy.”
10y/o dropped some candy: “oh no! jelly bean down!”
7 y/o: “this picture is inappropriate, it shows her boob line.”
me: “you know, you’ll have boobs one day.”
7 y/o: “but, i don’t want those jiggly things!”
me to 10 y/0: “want me to clip your nails for you?” “no, i like clipping my nails myself. it’s a sense of accomplishment.”
10 y/o: “i showed the boys on the bus pictures of my kitty”
me: “i never want to hear that again.”
10 y/o: “?”
Tags: bingo, candy, deer, dreidel, dvr, ebay, halloween, kitten, littlest pet shop, tooth fairy
