not quite what dr. seuss had in mind, but i think he’d approve:
you’re a dumbass, mr. hat.
you really are a tool.
you’re as welcome as a hemorroid,
in a public swimming pool.
mr. hat.
you’re a dingleberry
in filthy underoos.
you’re a fucknuts, mr hat.
your brain is wired wrong.
your soul is full of malice,
you’ve got lemons in your bong.
mr. hat.
i would’t fuck you with a -
nother dudes’s big ol’ hairy schlong.
you’re a loser. mr. hat.
you’re so ugly in and out.
you have all the sex appeal,
of a tranny with the gout.
mr. hat.
given the choice between the two of you
i’d take the tranny with the gout.
you’re a giant baby, mr. hat
but you made a ton of bucks.
your wallet will soon be empty,
you truly are so fucked.
mr. hat.
merry EX-mas, mr. hat
xoxo,
swv
